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Sloppy Signatures: 50 Of The Most Notorious Sports Autographs

Sports-Autographs-Header

When you think about highly collectible autographs you may picture Lou Gehrig’s signature, a crisp Babe Ruth or maybe a fancier Richard Petty. One thing’s for sure, you aren’t thinking about any of the autographs on this notorious list.

This features 50 of the simplest signatures, the worst handwriting and the most complex collection of characters that you’ve ever seen. Each section is broken down by autograph type and these select signatures are in no particular order.

Single-Letter-Autographs

The following signatures are light on the overall character count. These athlete autographs are simple, they only feature two letters.

Arnett-Moultrie-Autograph

Arnett Moultrie

What better name is there to sign than Arnett Moultrie? Multiple t’s to cross and an “i” at the end to dot. Nah, how about A.M. instead?

Knile-Davis-Autograph

Knile Davis

For taking the path of least resistance, Knile appears to use an unorthodox method to his “d”s by going down, up, around, then back again.

Rajon-Rondo-Autograph

Rajon Rondo

You may know this all-star simply as “Rondo” on the court, but on the card, he’s truncated even further to just RR.

Avery-Bradley-Autograph

Avery Bradley

Having your first and last name both end with a “y” should lead to interesting signature opportunities. Well, not if you’re Avery Bradley – then it’s just an abbreviated body part.

Brandon-Harris-Signature

Brandon Harris

Of all the initial-ers, at least Brandon has the courtesy to jazz it up a bit with a circle (although it looks more football shaped than baseball).

Chris-Johnson-Autograph

Chris Johnson

This on-field speed demon also takes the attitude with his signatures – even a CJ2K would slow him down too much.

Chris-Young-Autograph

Chris Young

Not only is this autograph truncated, but it also appears to have been done while driving a motorcycle over a pothole.

Zeke-DeVoss-Autograph

Zeke DeVoss

Not to be confused with Z 2 U.

Freddie-Freeman-Autograph

Freddie Freeman

This autograph can also be quickly extended if he ever changes his jersey number to 77.

Lawrence-Timmons-Autograph

Lawrence Timmons

The most surprising thing here is how detailed he makes the pound sign and the numbers.

Questionable-Effortr-Autographs

The professional athlete is constantly bombarded by hungry fans seeking out autographs. Some meticulously sign each signature with pride. Others simply get through the signature. The following athletes fall into what we call the “questionable effort” category.

Josh-Howard-Autograph

Josh Howard

This is a minimalistic take on “Josh Howard”. Extremely minimalistic.

TJ-Graham-Autograph

T. J. Graham

Good take on a Tampa Bay Ray’s logo, bad take on a T.J. Graham signature.

Ed-Davis-Autograph

Ed Davis

At least he goes back to include the “i” in Davis.

Christine-Michael-Autograph

Christine Michael

Not sure whether you should be thankful or irate that Christine used a mild squiggle at the end of the “c” that appears to represent the “m” in his name.

Nick-Perry-Autograph

Nick Perry

Sorry Nick, it’s hard not to read this as “A Ray”.

jonas-Valanciunas-Autograph

Jonas Valanciunas

Yep, this says Jury.

Hector-Noesi-Autograph

Hector Noesi

What this autograph lacks in letter detail it adds in the “windblown” look.

Wil-Myers-Autograph

Wil Myers

Little known (made up) fact: Wil found his signature when scribbling back and forth trying to get ink out of a pen.

Maruice-Ager-Autograph

Maurice Ager

Who needs a first name, anyway? You’ll know Maurice by his “a” alone.

Jake-McGee-Autograph

 

Jake McGee

This would go into the initial category if it was in-fact, initials. His autographs are J J which is just downright confusing.

Joc-Pederson-Autograph

Joc Pederson

Not only is this just another two-character autograph, but it also appears to be a backwards “c” and a “g” – none of which begin either Joc’s first or last name.

Jake-Odorizzi-Autograph

Jake Odorizzi

The two letters that Jake gives us are fabulous, but that’s it, other than a scribble that looks like a hill and the dots for the two i’s. Maybe he shared common ground with Billy Madison and never mastered the cursive “z”.

Tim-Lincecum-Autograph

Tim Lincecum

Tim, there is no “z” or “p” in either Tim or Lincecum.

Larry-Sanders-Autograph

Larry Sanders

For being such a large dominating inside presence, his squigglegraph is unimpressive.

Tyler-Anderson-Autograph

Tyler Anderson

Tyler created his autograph at age 2 and has hasn’t changed it since.

Verand-Morrency-Autograph

Vernand Morrency

Some call him the “Honus Wagner” of the lazy autograph. Others call him a master of efficiency. We just call him V.

Abstract-Autographs

 

Just because athlete are paid to be physical for a living doesn’t mean they aren’t creative. These athletes have autographs that are half art, half signature.
Carlos-Gonzales-Autograph

Carlos Gonzalez

This is more Orange County Choppers logo than it is signature, sorry.

Jurickson-Profar-Autograph

Jurickson Profar

The budding young prospect uses much more of a symbol than a signature.

Chris-Rainey-Autograph

Chris Rainey

The athlete formerly known as Chris Rainey now goes by “lowercase L, lowercase L, Period”

Sergio-Santos-Autograph

Sergio Santos

Two very nice S’s surround the number 8 in Sergio’s John Hancock. Then it directs you back to re-read and bask in its glory. Not sure why, really, but points for originality.

Chris-Sale-Authograph

Chris Sale

This may be an abstract CSE with the other characters nestled somewhere inside, but we like to think of it as three consecutive strikes.

Oscar-Taveras-Autograph

Oscar Taveras

We see a sun shining down on a boat that is racing towards a finish line (oh and Oscar Taveras’s name, too).

Stephen-Jackson-Autograph

Stephen Jackson

This looks more like a wedding invitation than an athlete’s autograph. S+J on the 7th, please RSVP back directly to Stephen.

Drew-Storen-Autograph

Drew Storen

If Drew ever calls it quits on baseball, he’ll have a flourishing art career ahead. This looks like it came from a spirograph.

George-Springer-Autograph

George Springer

Sorry George, I don’t think that is how a cursive “g” (or standard “g”) works.

Nate-Davis-Autograph

Nate Davis

More of a formula than a signature, it seems like Nate wants the answer to A+D-5.

John-Jay-Autograph

Jon Jay

This looks much more like the deceased Wu Tang member ODB than Jon Jay.

Brian-Cushing-Autograph

Brian Cushing

This man knows two things.

1) How to impose fear on opposing teams

2) How to autograph in Wingdings

Dany-Toussaint-Autograph

Dany ‘Touki’ Toussaint

Hard to analyze the penmanship of a high-schooler, but come on, this is a greater-than sign inside of a pi sign, right?

John-Jenkins-Autograph

John Jenkins

This is a squiggly line with two loops. True story.

David-DeJesus-Autograph

David DeJesus

Seriously, what is this? Our best guess is a person with one very large foot is walking their circular one-legged dog.

Damion-James-Autograph

Damion James

Are those cat ears?

Dillon-Gee-Autograph

Dillion Gee

And these are ducks.

Ronald-Torreyes-Autograph

Ronald Torreyes

It’s sad that this autograph made the list. Out of all the other folks on the list, Ronald likely took 10x the time and effort in this signature. The problem is that it isn’t cursive, sorry Ronald.

Sloppy-Autographs

Thankfully penmanship is not part of the Wonderlick test. If it was, these athletes might have found themselves in a heap of trouble.

Brock-Osweiler-Autograph

Brock Osweiler

This may be the most Picasso-y signature in history. It looks like Xzibit heard he liked signatures and put a signature in his signature so he could sign while he signs.

Pattrick-Patterson-Autograph

Patrick Patterson

His autographs are all over the board, but most simply say PPatt in sloppy cursive.

Manny-Machado-Autograph

Manny Machado

There are two M’s in there for sure, but everything else looks like a bowl of spaghetti.

Ichiro-Suzuki-Autograph

Ichiro Suzuki

This autograph has hints of Jackson Pollack with subtle notes of Ruth Kligman. Look for the Ichiro Signature display coming soon to MoMA.

Raul-Ibanez-Autograph

Raul Ibanez

The owner of the world’s sloppiest Autograph may well be Raul. He has officially hit doctor status legibility.

Ryne-Sanberg-Autograph

Ryne Sandberg

The owner of the sloppiest signature in the Hall of Fame is far and away Ryne. This isn’t even close to any single part of his name.

There you have it, the 50 most notorious athlete autographs. Think you can find an autograph that should be on the list? Head on over to our Autographed Sports Memorabilia section and have a look.

Anything missing from the list?  Please add in the comments below.

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About Dave and Adam's Card World

Dave and Adam's Card World is one of the largest sellers of trading cards and collectibles in the world. Located just outside of Buffalo NY, the company operates five retail stores as well as the e-commerce website www.dacardworld.com

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